Deadly Choking Games
CAUTION: This post is R-rated!
Yesterday, a mother found her 12 year old daughter dead in her closet. That brings to SIX, the known cases of deaths so far in 2008 of teens and preteens because of “The Choking Game”. Also, known as “Pass Out Game”, “Fainting Game”, “Black Out” and several other names, this deadly behavior is a potentially fatal game that children are playing!
In studies, it was discovered that 75% of the kids 9 -16 years old knew about the game, or had played it themselves. Yet, only 25% of parents knew about the game, and that was usually because their children were victims.
What is the Choking Game and who and why are the kids playing it?
While many adults have known about “autoerotic asphyxia” for years, no one realized that kids were playing their own version. Autoerotic asphyxia is the situation whereby adults attempt to reduce air to the body, usually by strangulation, to increase the intensity of orgasm. The trick is to achieve the desired results without dying or causing permanent brain damage. This is definitely considered deviant sexual behavior and is extremely dangerous. Every year, a number of adults die, or are left in a vegetative state, because of this abnormal behavior.
While most adults aren’t aware of it, children are learning about the choking game from their peers at school, at camp, and everywhere kids congregate. Youngsters are bragging about it on the internet. The information is spreading like wildfire among our children. It transcends all social and economic barriers, so rich kids and poor kids and all those in between are learning about it.
Because it produces a high, or buzz, due to decreased oxygen to the brain, it is a cheap thrill that kids are eagerly sharing with each other. Unfortunately, most of them don’t realize how deadly it is. Many of the children who are playing this ‘game’ do so with a fellow student. The majority of deaths (106 in 2007 alone) are kids who attempt to get the high alone, like the 12 year old girl who was discovered by her mother just yesterday. 87% of the reported deaths are teen & preteen males, but children as young as 6 years old have been reported to participate!
No one knows for certain if the number of teen males who die through this behavior were suicidal or not, but the number of young children dying from it leads researchers to believe most of the deaths are accidental because the children did not know what the real risks are.
Because the practice is spreading rapidly, and the death rate is increasing, parents and grandparents need to become informed and talk to their kids! Most of these kids already know about it, but they don’t understand the dangers. They’ve been told by their friends that it’s fun, or a thrill, but have no awareness of the potential side effects.
Check these links. Become informed. Inform other parents. And TALK TO YOUR KIDS BEFORE IT’s TOO LATE!!!
Dangerous Behaviors in Adolescents
Deadly Games Children Play (Home of GASP)
I’m sorry if I seem like an alarmist, I’m not. The little girl who died yesterday lived only a few miles from me. I am HORRIFIED!
Don’t delay! The child you save may be your own!
Brennan
Filed under: Education News
I’ve often said kids are cruel, but this takes it to a whole new level. How shocking!
Ronda
This kind of thing has been around for a long time (I remember a pastor telling me 25 years ago that he had to bury a young guy of 19 or so who died that way). But I had no idea it was spreading to young children.
Ronda, I think this is generally something kids do to themselves with a belt, etc…so I’m not sure “cruelty” applies here.
I think we are to blame as a society for letting marketing forces justify the sexualization of children. Thongs for 6-year-olds saying “2 Sexy For You!” are just a small part of it. We need to allow kids to be kids. There’s plenty of time to grow up after their bodies start maturing…no need to force it at an earlier age, when they are emotionally defenseless. There was a time when 11-12 year old kids were just enjoying being noticed by the other sex…not worrying about the intensity of sexual pleasure.
Our society is oozing sexuality…from our entertainment to our advertising. Sure, it’s titillating on some level…but we pay a high price as a culture when we let those without a conscience on the matter set the standards.
Dear Ronda & Chuck,
Thank you both for your comments. Yes, I agree that kids can be cruel to each other (Don gives examples in his book) but the cruel part of this is that kids don’t know the dangers.
They learn to do it together and then try it alone, as Chuck said, with a belt or a noose, a cord or even a dog leash. Most of the deaths occur when a child (teen or preteen) attempts this alone.
They tell each other it’s to get high, so I don’t even know how much of a sexual content they are aware of. Although, nothing would surprise me about that because as you say, Chuck, there is such exposure to sexual materials in our society.
I thought I was pretty aware, but this “choking game’ threw me for a loop. I want every parent and grandparent to be aware of it, and help prevent it.
Hi Brennan!
Wow, this topic is horrific! I’ve seen video clips of this before, but had no audio. What a sad state of affairs we live in with kids trying to have what they think is fun, but instead putting themselves in danger. No longer do you need to play around on the jungle gym or jump your bike over inclines (like it used to scare my parents when I was young), nope–now all you have to do is place your hands around your neck or your friends to see if you can starve one of the most important organs in your body. Duh!
I would be devastated to learn if my children or their friends did that.
Yup, Mark,
This really is horrific, but it seems to be the latest ‘fad’.
If your children are still at home, you should probably have a talk with them about it. Most youngsters have now discussed it among their friends and need an adult to calmly explain the possible consequences.
One of the things that my research revealed is that while most youngsters have heard of this, very few realize how dangerous it is.
Seems we parents are the only ones hesitant to talk about it.
Brennan
Hi there - I was just researching this choking game on the internet because sadly, my cousin passed away last week and it appears it was caused by this sort of choking. Initially I thought it was suicide but apparently not now.
It is extremely disturbing, I can’t believe children as young as 10 are playing such dangerous games - I had heard about it before but I guess you just put it at the back of your mind, hoping that it’ll never affect you or your children.
My cousin was actually 25 so I’m not too sure how long he’s been doing this for or for what reasons. The thing I don’t understand is how can anyone even attempt to do this on their own, surely they know that if they pass out, the weight of their body will pull them down, causing them to be strangled?? Maybe I don’t know enough about it??
Dear Juliet,
I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your cousin. What a tragic waste of life!
It seems that more young men in their teens and early adulthood die from this than women or girls.
It’s true that children are learning about auto-asphyxiation and experimenting with it. I don’t understand how it could have gotten so widespread, but I guess it’s a type of viral marketing, word-of-mouth thing, that we always hear about.
My sincere condolences to you and your family on the loss of your cousin.
Brennan
The news of this being very popular with younger children is new to me. But my impression is that older kids and young adults are more prone to do it alone for privacy reasons…and they are gambling that they’ll be able to un-do the bindings before they suffocate.
Of course it’s dangerous and stupid…but, then again, why do people play russian roulette? It’s a rush…and apparently that’s enough justification for the moment.
This is one of the reasons that I believe it’s critical to teach kids about real self-esteem…healthy self-respect and healthy boundaries in personal relationships. Everything in our culture is so shallow and contrived. When you’re constantly told “you’re special!”, but never given any grounds for it (other than “because I say so”)…when your role models (whoever that might be) and advertising and entertainment media continue to demonstrate that the playoff of pleasure is worth every risk…what are kids supposed to learn?
A president, a governor, prominent leaders and celebrities…even spiritual leaders.
First, they our kids are robbed of their childhood…now they are being robbed of the joys of human relationships because they’re taught /shown that others are just vehicles to achieve their own pleasure. Very sad.
Thanks Brennan, I really appreciate your kind words. And thank you for this site - it has been very informative and I hope that some day soon, through literature such as this, we are able to prevent more unnecessary deaths - very tragic indeed.
Regards
Juliet.
I really appreciate your thoughtful comments.
@ Chuck . . . You really have summed up the problems and the solutions nicely. Very few understand how important it is to help our children find true self-esteem. Too many parents confuse self-esteem with being stuck-up, when in fact it’s easier to respect yourself and others with strong self-esteem.
Our society must change the messages we are broadcasting to our youth.
@ Juliet . . . Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It means a lot to me.
Thank you both,
Brennan
That’s a great message Chuck and I agree with you. I have a 15 month old daughter and I often wonder what life will be like when she’s older (I’d like to say when she’s a teenager but the truth is, scary things are happening from a much younger age these days). I just pray that I am aware and able differentiate between good and bad influences before it’s too late but you’ve hit the nail on the head - one of the most important things is to teach them about self-respect and healthy boundaries and the rest should follow.
Cheers.
Yeh, I just read this and the comments, I am a teen myself, and from “my” experience, choking game is different as passingout game, passing game is a thrill, while as for us teens the choking game is a mere way of saying goodbye and commiting suicide. We do know the danger, we chose to do it. Were not cruel if we are doing it to ourselves.. suicde. ( adults commit too ). When others do it to us, it is asked for, unless you are being beat up.
I’ve read on some sites, that the choking game DOES NOT hurt. Well this is a lie. Ive tried it, and it hurt alot for me, i got a huge migraine, and my jaws started locking ( lots of pain in my jaws as well), and teeth started grinding. Jts, please don’t ask me why i tried it.
We know that it is bad, that it will kill you, thats why we do it. As for teaching them self-respect that won’t really do much. Almost every teen you see now, as some bad thign about them. I get 95’s on my report card for everything, but im gettign dragged into drugs and all of this stuff most teens are in. But I am still getting good grades. Society in the future will be MUCH worst.
Dear Stephanie,
First, I’d like to thank you for sharing that the choking game DOES hurt. It’s important that everyone know as much as possible about the truth on this matter. Perhaps if more teens were told about the after-effects, fewer would try it.
As for self-esteem, you are correct that every teen has something “bad about them”, but that just means that they are a normal part of the human race. ALL OF US have something “bad about us”. That’s what life is all about ~ learning our own strengths and weaknesses and getting a little better each day, if possible.
NO ONE, no matter how perfect they or their life may look to the outside world, really has it all together. But the best thing is, that while we are alive, we can work towards making our lives better.
The saddest part about a suicide, especially of a young person, is that if they had stayed around a little longer through the bad times, they would have learned that EVENTUALLY, everything can get better.
Don’t let yourself get dragged into drugs. They don’t make things better, they just MAKE IT SEEM THAT WAY ~ for a little while. Then, they smack you in the face!
We both are in agreement that society will get worse in the future, but there will be happy, successful and productive (as well as safe) groups even then. The secret is to get help to get directed towards those happy people and get surrounded by positive and productive fellow (imperfect) human beings. Believe me, they still exist and there are far more of them than most people know.
Please find a responsible, compassionate person to talk to about your feelings. They ARE out there.
You are smart enough to get good grades in spite of the garbage you see around you. I know you are smart enough to find a reliable confidante.
Thank you for your comment. I wish you all the best.
Brennan
P.S. Write me any time you feel like it.
I’m really glad you took the time to share this, Stephanie. And I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with these issues, and with the pull of drugs.
I have to disagree with you about the issue of self-respect, though. I see a difference between someone who is obviously bright, as you are…and someone who knows that they are “better than” the attempts to suck them into these things. When I say “better than”, I don’t mean superior to in the sense of being above someone else…rather, that you realize that you don’t need this stuff to define your life.
If someone told me that my life would be better and more popular if I’d just cut off one of my fingers, I’d say…”that’s stupid. I don’t need that. My life will be fine without it, and I won’t lower myself to that level of stupidity. I’m better than that. If that’s the price of popularity, I won’t pay it.” But, as kids, there’s a temptation to believe that even self-destructive behavior is somehow desirable because it makes you cool. I don’t buy that. I’ve seen how fickle people can be…especially kids. And how their goal is often just to bring you down low and make you like them in terms of behavior. I won’t go there. And I taught my kids that when they were young. They still made a lot of mistakes and stupid decisions when they were growing up (as did I when I was their age). But I wasn’t self-destructive. Kids need to know that they are OK…that they can be respected and cared about…without that garbage. To me, that’s what self-respect is about. Knowing you’re OK without acting stupid just because everyone else is doing it. That’s way different from being smart enough to get good grades.
I really hope you can turn around some of those trends. Being a teen is a temporary condition. Hang in there…you’ll survive it. The world is a lot bigger place than it appears when you’re young. And life is about much larger issues than what you do with your leisure time. But it takes time to learn that. Be patient with yourself. And, as Brennan said, find a reliable person in which to confide. Someone who is older and trustworthy, but won’t condemn you when you share your feelings and your fears. Someone you can use as a sounding board. It can make a huge difference. Folks who’ve been around for awhile understand a lot more than you think…and they have the benefit of having seen how shallow life often is when you’re young…and they know that you’ll be fine if you just hang in there and survive the bumpy parts of the ride.
Dear Chuck,
Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom with Stephanie and the rest of us.
You really described life beautifully when you wrote about “the bumpy parts of the ride”. Most of us have to get past those bumps to be able to look back and realize that they shook our lives up for the better.
Stephanie, there is lots of help available for unhappy or confusing times and the end result is that you get smarter than even before.
Thank you for your comment, Chuck. And, Stephanie, I know you are too smart to “cut off a finger” or “do drugs” just because those around you are encouraging it.
Wishing you bost the best,
Brennan